Proclaim Liberty: Who are you ready to forgive?

Charlotte A. Tomaino

Why do we forgive? There is a lot of energy coming out of ‘being right’ when you have been wronged. Some think that defensive energy and attitude will protect them from having ‘it’ happen again. Some are determined to fight back. Some are just powerless and have taken on an identity of a victim, not knowing what else to do.

All those states, the emotions, thoughts, behaviors and even life styles they produce drive our lives in ways we don’t even realize. We see countries in our world driven forward in conflict by thousands of years where forgiveness has not happened.

There is a science of forgiveness now. We have studied it and learned that it is good for your physical health, your emotional balance, your creative thought process, your relationships and intergenerational heritage. Letting go of the stress of unresolved pain is good for everything about you, especially your soul.

In contrast, if you don’t forgive and free yourself of the pain of the past, research tells us that you have ‘high risk factors’ for heart disease, high blood pressure, headaches, ulcers, diabetes, addictions, even cancer. All the chronic stress related diseases and all the mood disorders like depression and anxiety that rob you of your joy each day are affected when you don’t forgive. (Forgive for Good, Fred Luskin)

Did you reflect on the Jubilee Inventory?
Did you come across times, events and relationships
that are unresolved?
Do you want to be free of them?

Forgiveness transforms people mentally (they think differently after letting go), emotionally (the pain no longer rises), spiritually (the struggle has passed), and physically (wellness is essential for everything else).

No one is perfect, we all know that now. The words of the superior or priest were thought to be the voice of God back then. We have discovered differently now, they turned out to be people too.

Despite wanting to do a good job in our relationships, with our children, in our careers, we have made mistakes we regret. Those times when you wish you could have been nicer or wish you knew then what you know now are with us all.

Forgiving yourself as well as others frees you to learn from the past, evolve in consciousness of how life works and move forward to a better path.

When King Arthur was despondent with his own lack of leadership and disappointed in his Knights of the Round Table, Merlin the wizard said to him, “This is the time to learn something. Learn how the world wags and what wags it. Learning is the thing for you!”

What are you ready to let go of?
What are you ready to forgive?
What are you ready to learn?

Below are reflections and prayers of forgiveness if this is calling you.

Meditation: Opening to the Light
Spirituality & Health Magazine 3/14

  1. Close your eyes and follow your breath.
  1. When you feel centered, imagine yourself in a safe place.
  1. In the center of your safe space is a box with many drawers.
  1. The drawers are labeled. The inscriptions show hurts you have yet to forgive.
  1. Choose a drawer and open it. Rolled or folded or crumpled up inside it are all the thoughts and feelings the incident evokes.

  6. You can choose to empty out this drawer.

  7. Bring your hurt into the light and examine it.

  8. Unfold the resentment you have felt and set it aside.

  9. Smooth out the ache and let it drift up into the sunlight and disappear.

  10. If any feeling seems too big or too unbearable, set it aside to look at later.

  11. When the drawer is empty, sit for a moment with it in your lap.

  12. Then remove the label from this drawer.

  13. As the label comes off, you will see the drawer turn to sand. The wind will sweep it away. You don’t need it anymore.

 14. There will be no space left for that hurt in the box. That space is not needed anymore.

 15. If there are more drawers still to be emptied, you can repeat this meditation now or later.

Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Meditation

Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono)

Zero Limits: The World’s Most Unusual Therapist

An article by Dr. Joe Vitale from the book “Zero Limits” by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Len.

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho‘oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. … he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

I was in awe.

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said.

I didn’t understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life–is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy–anything you experience and don’t like–is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len’s method. I kept silently saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you,” I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet, by saying “I love you,” I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book’s vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

“What about the books that are already sold and out there?” I asked.

“They aren’t out there,” he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. “They are still in you.”

In short, there is no out there.

Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you.

“When you look, do it with love.”

At Maryknoll, the Sisters from Hawaii recommend you focus on the person in your mind’s eye and say,

“I love you,
I am sorry,
Please forgive me,
Thank you.”

As you feel the resonance of each statement, Know that this is happening.

Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the South Pacific, including Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand. Traditionally hoʻoponopono is practiced by healing priests or kahuna lapaʻau among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone.

To Listen to an Ho’oponopono meditation, go to’oponopono-cleaning-meditation.htm.

3. Where are You Ready to Disengage?
4. When will You Be Ready to Retire?

2 Responses to Proclaim Liberty: Who are you ready to forgive?

  1. Paula Grimaldi says:

    Thank you for reminding me of Ho’oponopono! I had forgotten it and it had brought up the deep similarities to the Meta meditation in Buddhism. Both seem to resonate compassion for self. In in healing self heal the world around us.

    • Charlotte Tomaino says:

      Paula, You are such a healer, as we all are when we choose to engage that part of ourselves. Yes, we learn these things and forget. Then something helps us remember at just the right time. Ho’oponopono has come and gone in my life and now has come again for me to offer all that struggle as they come to my mind. The deepest gift we have to give.

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